Love Text for you

Never Underestimate The Pain Of A Person
Because Everyone Is Struggling Through It.

It's Just, Some People Hide It Better Than Others..
because everyone is struggling through it.

It's just, some people hide it better than others...




*****************



When I was sad you were not here,
I was all broken but you didn't care,

You forgot that I have got heart too,
Though it was always busy loving you..!




*****************



I Don't Know Why I'm So Afraid To Lose U When U R Not Even Mine.
I Don't know Why I Luv U So When U Don't Even Luv Me.
I Don't Know Why U R The
One When I'm Just A Someone To U...




*****************



I trustedyou with my heart
I handed it over and said
Be careful
Don't break it
And you said you wouldn't
Right after that you shattered it
Anonomous.


****************

Many parts to my broken heart
From the day when it felt apart.
My whole world came crashing down
But its fell with out a sound.

All the love that you stole
Left me standing in a hole.
From the day my world fell apart
I'm standing here with a broken heart.


****************

I want to feel your touch
O my skin.
I want to hear your voice
Whisper in my ear.
I want you to love me
Like i loved you.
I want you to hurt like
I have been hurting..
I wish fairy tales were true
Because you.
Would have saved my heart not
Broken it in two.


****************

Once it's broken so
Many times
You start to lose peices
So it's just best, if i keep
It to myself for now on
Before i lose too much
I'm already in too deep.


****************

No one ever said that life is easy
There will always be someone who will
Breakyour heart
You may be sooo depressed you
Just sit in the corner and cry
For hours.
But you just have to
Remember
Life Goes On.


****************

Aaj Phir Kisi Ne Pucha K Tera Hasta Hua Chehra Udas Q Hai?
Barasti Aankhon Mein Piyas Q Hai?
Jiski Nazron Mein Tu Kuch B Nahin!
Wo Tere Liye Itna Khas Q Hai?


****************

The Worst Feeling Isn't
Being Lonely .
Its Being Forgotten By
Someone You Could Never Forget .
' LoSt DeSiRe '


****************

Each drop of a Tear is Costly
than anything in World..
But,
No One knows its value
until they have it in their own eyes
For Someone.


****************

Some battles have to be fought alone,
Some paths have to be crossed alone,
So never be emotionally attached with anyone.
You never know when you have to walk alone


****************

What is more painful?
When a person whom you trust, hurts you
Or
The person whom you hurt, still trusts you?
Just
Think .... ..!


****************

Break my heart
destroy my soul
and
leave me crying
i'd still love you
and
i won't expect you to
love me in return ....


****************

Some broken heart may never mend
Some memories may never end
Some wet tears may never dry
But my love for you will never die


****************

Gungunatey huye aanchal ki hava de mujhko,
Ungliyaan pher kar balon mein, sula de mujhko.
Jiss tarah faaltu guldaan pade rehte hein,
Apne ghar ke kisi kone se laga de mujhko.
Yaad kar ke mujhe takleef hi hoti hogi,
Ek kissa hoon purana sa bhula de mujhko.
Doobtey doobtey aawaz teri sun jaoun,
Akhri baar tu sahil se sada de mujhko.


****************

I cannot erase from my heart
sweet memories of you
thy tongue sharp as a dart
my poor heart eschew.
s

****************

Apni Dharkano Se Kuch Aisay Mera Naam Lo
Ye Waqt Ruk Jaye Is Lamhay Ko Thaam Lo
Teri Aankhon Mein Jhalak Hai Asi Merey Pyar Ki
Saahil Pe Jesey Dhalti Haseen Shaam Ho


****************

Have u ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit
and u just pull the scar off of it over and over again...


****************

raqs karne ka mila hukm jo dariyaon mein
ham ne khush hoke bhanwar bandh liye paon mein
un ko bhi ha ksi bhige hue manzar ki talash
bund tak bo na sake jo kabhi sahraon mein.


****************

un k ek jan-nisar ham bhi hain
hain jahan sau-hazar ham bhi hain
tum bhi bechain ham bhi hain bechain
tum bhi ho beqarar ham bhi hain..


****************

So I guess that I'm da loser
Cause u hav found some1 new
But I'm still here, still all alone
Just crying over u


****************

Woh khud hi ho ruswa khudi maan jaye
Jo main rooth jaon to mujh ko manaye
Mere paas aaye zara muskaraye
Jo main ro paroon to woh aansoo bahaye


****************

Musafir Toh Bichar Jate Hein Rafaqat Kub Badalti He....
Muhabbat Zinda Rehti He, Muhabbat Kub Badalti He.....
Tumhi Ko Chahte Hein Aur Tumhi Se Pyar Karte Hein....
Ye He Barson Ki Adat Aur Adat Kub Badalti He....


****************

Waqt guzarta raha,
par sansey thami thi,
Muskura rahe the hum,
Par ankho mein nami thi,
Saath hamare ye jahan tha sara,
Par na jaane kyun tumhari kami thi...


****************

Great mind contains ideas and reasons; scientific mind contains formulas and figures; my mind contains only U my Sweet Heart!

****************

Wo Haans Kr Mily Hum Pyar Samjh Bathy,
Faqat Ulfat Ko Hi Izhar Smjh Bathy,
Itni Ache To Na The Qismat Humare,
Khud Ko Un Ke Chahat Ka Haqdaar Smjh Bathey


****************

I reeally luv YU ... Buh YU luv sum 1 else
Wen I Cee U
I cant cloze my eyes
I jus want YU 2 sey how much I care abt YU
Mey I cud sey YU at sum Timee .....
I Luv YU Mor Than My self


****************

Milnaa ittafaaq thaa bichernaa naseeb thaa,
Woh itnaa door ho gayaa jitnaa Kareeb thaa,
Bastee key saaray log hi aatish parrast they,
Jaltaa rahaa mayra gher aur samander Kareeb thaa.


****************

Bars�n Key Inteeza�r kaa Anj�aam Likhh Diya
K�aghaz Pay Sh�am k�a�t Ka phir Sh�am likhh diya
Bikhree Paree thee t��t Kay Kaleey�n Zameen Par
Terteeeb dey kay Mei ney Tayraa naaam likhh diya ()


****************

Dil main hur raaaz dabaa key rakhtay hein
Honton pay Muskaan sajaa key rakhtay hein..
ye duneeya sirff Khushee mein saath daytee hai..
iss liye hum apnay aansoo chupaaa kay rakhtey hein


****************

Wohh pal aiysaa thaa kay inkaar ker naa paaye,
Duneeyaa kay dar say ikraar ker naa paaye,
Naa thee Zindagee jiss kay binaa mumkin,
Uss ney chorh diyaa aur hum sawaal bee naa ker paaye.


****************





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Broken Heart Text Messages :: Hindi Breaking Heart Text :: Poetry About a Broken Heart


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Fresh New Pick Up Lines Youll Ever have

"I want to tell you your fortune." Take her hand and write your phone number on it. "There's your future."
"Your skin is so creamy I bet you never even had a zit on your ass."
"Your dad must not have a penis. He's got a paintbrush!"
Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it... then say "You dropped your nametag!"
"Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?"
"You are the most interesting piece of ass i've talked to all evening."
"I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?"
"Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?"
"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?"
"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"
"Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after."
"Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had."
"Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't buy you a drink."
"Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?"
"You make Paris Hilton look like a teletubbie."
"If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'de be called the McGorgeous."
"Can I even get a fake number?"
"Hey beautiful...that is your name right?"
"If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you I'd have about... 5 cents."
"You're like a prize winning fish... I dont know whether to eat you or mount you."
"If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"
"If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together."
"I've got some Skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?"
"I'm just a love pirate lookin' for some booty."
"Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?"
"If you were a booger I'd pick you first."
"I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button."
"Fat penguin" (What!?) "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."
"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!"
"You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong."
"Do you want to go to breakfast?" (Sure) "Should I call you, or nudge you?"
Go up to a girl and say "Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee" - submitted by Allen (fixed by WEEDMAN)
"Come on sweetheart, why don't you just let me put the head in..." - what a classic
"Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted" - submitted by Barry Thickk
"You must wash your clothes with windex... because I can see myself in your pants!" - submitted by "The Richmiester"
"Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?"
"Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get" - submitted by B.J.F
"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you" - submitted by B.J.F
"Wanna go halves on a bastard???" (Non-serious) - submitted by NeoPlasmaX
"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!" - submitted by Jason
"The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word."
"I'm not actually this tall, I've got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet."
"Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!"
"Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?"
"I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so... you might as well be there."
"What's your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?" - submitted by DZINERLUV
"Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway."
"Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"
"What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply."
"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."
You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."
"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "f**k it". "
"Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"
"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
"Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop. "
"Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. "
"Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart."
"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. "
"Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room."
"I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down."
"What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" (smile and wink)
"I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast."
"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"
"I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. "
"Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"
"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."
"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"
"You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad."
you say "You look just like my first wife" she says "How many times have you been married?" you say "never".
"If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. "
"you say "I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink" she says "Why?" you say "Because I dropped mine when I looked at you"
"If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit! "
"If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."
"Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? "
"When God made you, he was showing off."
"If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. "
"My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"
"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. "
"I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you."
"Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn't let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that's how I feel about you."
"It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me! "
"Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? "
"Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. "
"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? "
"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?"
"Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that ass! "
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that "pops" up!"
"If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"
"Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?"

45 Cheesy Pick Up Lines

1. Are you a surgeon? Cause you've just took my heart away!
2. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something ... My Jaw !!!
3. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

4. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

6. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

7. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

8. Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

9. My Love for you is like diarrahia ... I can't hold it in

10. I think you just stole something. [What?] My heart.

11. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

12. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!

13. I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.

14. If you were a booger I would pick you first.

15. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

16. A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her "I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

17. People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

18. Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

19. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

20. If i was cosin squared and you were sin squared we would be one.

21. I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

22. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

23. I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

24. Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

25. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

26. "If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"

27. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

28. If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

29. Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

30. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

31. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

32. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

33. Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

34. Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?

35. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

36. You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

37. Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

38. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

39. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

40. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

41. Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark.

42. Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!

43. If you were a steak you would be well done.

44. Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see

45. Did you fart, cause you blew me away. 

Pick up Lines for Men

Lets put it Backward Girls Here are some pick up line to use on Boys
  1. If I could have you in bed, I wouldn't need the cover to keep warm.
  2. Are you a fairytale? [Why?] Because you can't be for real.
  3. You're just the way I like my coffee. Tall, black, and strong.
  4. Is that a keg in your pants? [No, why?] Cause I'm trying to tap that.
  5. You've been a bad boy! Now go to MY room!
  6. I've looked for a man with a VCR and I've finally found the perfect one.... thats a Very Cute Rear by the way.
  7. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your jeans.
  8. Want to take a swim in my ocean?
  9. If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  10. Did you fart? Cuase you blew me away.
  11. I bet I could beat you at football. [No way.] Give me the ball and you tackle.
  12. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  13. Hi. [Trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy.]
  14. Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
  15. I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.
  16. Do these look real?
  17. Want to play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.
  18. Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
  19. [Reach for the back of their shirt and look at the tag, then say:] Just what I thought, made in Heaven.
  20. You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves...
  21. You are the hottest thing since sunburn.
  22. I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

Corny Cheesy Pick Up Lines

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
 
 Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got fine-fine-fine written all over ya.

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Love Qoutes, for all inlove people


If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship – never.

You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it’s what you are expected to give — which is
everything.

Love builds bridges where there are none.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.

The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul.

Life without love is like a tree without fruit.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one.

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Only love let’s us see normal things In an extraordinary way.

There’s always room for love; You just have to move a few things around.

Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

New Pick Up Lines For February 22 2011

2 grade two students ang naiwan sa classroom
girl: bakit ka nakatitig sa nameplate ko?

boy: inantay ko kasi malipat ung apelyido ko eh.
***
pag nadulas ka sa harap ng crush mo…
ang the best na palusot:[br]

“see how i fall for you?”
awwts

***
mas matindi kung ito maririnig mo sa crush mo:[br]
alam mo parang tumataba ka…
bumibilog …

at unti-unting…
nagiging mundo ko…
***
boy: tapos na ba mga exams mo?
girl: bakit mo naman tinatanong yan?
boy: para ako naman sagutin mo!
***
bf: hindi na matutuloy kasal natin.
gf: huh!? bakit naman?
bf: kuya mo kasi eh…
gf: hindi noh.gusto ka kaya ng kuya ko…
bf: un na nga eh… gusto ko din siya…
***

girl: break na tayo… kailangan ko kasi mag concentrate sa studies ko.
boy: ah ganun ba? siguraduhin mo lang na wala kang bagsak.
girl: bakit naman?
boy: kasi kung hindi… TAYO ULIT!!!
***
bf : ang init no?
gf: oo nga eh, buti na lang andito ka?
bf: bakit naman?
gf: para ka kasing soft cooling breeze.
***
bo y: [nahihiya]
girl: may nangyayari ba sayo?
boy: wala naman.. kasi nung nakita kita parang pringles na yung tibok ng puso ko.
girl: bakit naman pringles?
boy: kasi nung nakita kita, it popped and now it won’t stop.
***
boy: (tumayo patungo sa crush niya) excuse me, can you paint my love?
girl: eh di ba may brush ka naman?
boy: (parang nasupalpal sa sinabi ng babae, nakaisip ng ibang paraan) (binali ang brush niya sabay banat) ayan sira na brush ko, can you paint my love now?
***
sa class reunion
girl: (taas noong nilapitan ang bestfriend at crush niya nung highskul dahil sexy at maganda na siya ngaun) pano ba yan sexy at maganda na ko ngayon, siguro naman maiinlove ka na sakin?

boy: nagpapatawa ka ba?
girl: kainis to ginawa ko na nga lahat tapos tatawanan mo lang ako.
boy: eh pano, noon pa naman mahal na kita, may paganyan ganyan ka pa.
***
boy: alam mo ba hindi tayo TAO, hindi HAYOP…
girl: ganun? bakit, ano ba tayo?
boy: kasi BAGAY tayo.
***
boy: excuse me, hindi ba masakit?
girl: ang alin?
boy: ung katawan mo?
girl: hindi naman, bakit?
boy: tinadtad na kasi ng kagandahan
***
r
crush: hoy, ano ba! nakakainis ka na!

ikaw: huh? bakit? inaano ba kita?
crush: un nga eh wala kang ginagawa!
ikaw: kaya nga wala akong ginagawa tapos naasar ka. bakit ba?
crush: eh kasi mahal na kita. ano? manliligaw ka ba?
***
boy: nakikita niyo ba yang anghel na yan?
friend: san?
boy: ayun oh [sabay turo sa gf niya at sinigurong napatingin ito at maririnig siya]
friend: anghel? eh gf mo lang yan..
boy: oo anghel yan, yun nga lang, sakin lang siya binigay ni God.
***
boy: exam ka ba?
girl: hindi noh.. bakit naman?
boy: gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home.
***
boy: marunong ka bang mag budget?
girl: hala bakit?
boy: napapamahal na kasi ako sa’yo.
***
gi rl: nanininiwala ka bang may heaven?
boy: dati hindi, pero ngaun oo.
girl: ganun? bakit naman?
boy: eh kasi nandito ka, nasa heaven na ko san pa?
***
oy: pwede mo ba ko tulungan? naliligaw na kasi ako eh.
girl: bakit san mo ba balak pumunta?
boy: sa daan na didiretso sa piling mo.
***
boy: pwede ba wag ka muna masyado lalapit?
girl: anong drama naman yan?
boy: kasi pag lumalapit ka naiinlove lang ako lalo.
***
girl : nasan ka?
boy: dito sa WELDING shop.
girl: ano ginagawa mo d’yan?
boy: susubukan ko paayos ung nasira nating relasyon.
***
girl: ah ganun ba? ok. may gagawin ka pagtapos mo dyan?
boy: wala naman bakit?
girl: magpapasama lang ako sa divisoria.
boy: divisoria? ano gagawin mo dun?
girl: bibili ako ng feathers.
boy: feathers? para san?
girl: gagawa ako ng pakpak na isusuot ko para maging anghel mo.
***
boy: ei, ako na lang mahalin mo.
girl: huh? bakit naman?
boy: simple lang. pag minahal mo ko para ka lang gumagamit ng baby shampoo.
girl: baby shampoo? at bakit mo naman nasabi?
boy: kasi siguradong NO MORE TEARS.
***
gir l: takot ka ba sa kadena?
boy: uhm hindi naman.
girl: ah good.
boy: bakit naman good?
girl: binabalak ko kasing igapos na ang mga puso natin.
***
boy : alam mo simula nung makilala kita para ka nang tututli.
girl: tutuli? bakit mo naman nasabi yan aber?
boy: wala naman, hindi na kasi matanggal ung pangalan mo sa tenga ko.
***

Corny Cheesy Pick Up Lines

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.
Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?
Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.
Got two nipples for a dime?
Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Posters

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.
You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

15 Best Pick Up Lines for Today

1> Bagay sa yo maging Amo …..
* * * Inalila mo kasi ang puso ko…

2> Sana posporo ka… at posporo din ako….
* * * Para match tayo!!!

3> Ahhh… excuse me Miss!… Troso ka ba?…
* * * Kasi, gusto kitang sibakin! ..

4> Hospital ka ba? ….
* * * May heart complication kasi ako.. Either I C U or U C me ..

5> Ang buhay ko parang nakasakay sa seesaw…
* * * Kasi pag wala ka, Down ako! ..

6> Kung bola ka, at ako ang player.. Maso-shoot ba kita? …
* * * Hindi. Kasi lagi kitang ma-mi-miss! …

7> Uhhmmm.. race track ka ba? …
* * * Ang ganda ng curves mo!

8> May lagnat ka ba? ..
* * * Cause you’re too damn hot!

9> Excuse me… Surgeon ka ba? …
* * * Ikaw lang kasi nakapagpa-bukas ng puso ko eh…

10> May eraser ka ba? …
* * * Di ka kasi mabura sa isip ko…

11> Look, there’s something wrong with my cellphone…
* * * It doesn’t have your number in it…

12> If i could rearrange the alphabet…
* * * I’d put U and I together…

13> Miss, be unique and different from the rest…
* * * Just say “YES!”

14> Ananhin pa ang gravity?….
* * * Kung kusa akong nahuhulog sa yo??

15> Para kang ihi….
* * * Hindi kita matiis!

Someone pass me the bucket…QUICK!
So where does the word corny come from?

Corniest Jokes Ive Ever Heard

Best Joke in the world
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” 
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. 
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?
Second Place
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip.  After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
And what do you deduce from that?
Watson ponders for a minute.  “Well, 
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Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 
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Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. 
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Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. 
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Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. 
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Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. 
But what does it tell you, Holmes?
Holmes is silent for a moment.  
Watson, you idiot!” he says.  “Someone has stolen our tent!
Top joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. 
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” 
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
Top joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. 
The Russians used a pencil.
Top joke in Australia
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....
Top joke in Belgium
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
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To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
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To stamp out burning ducks
Top joke in Germany
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. 
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.
Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” 
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Top Joke in England
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” 
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
Top Joke in Wales
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. 
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”
Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
Also Rans
Texan: “Where are you from?
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.
But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”
Two fish in a tank.
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One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?
 
What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?  
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A Baboom !
 
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. 
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !
Which day of the week do fish hate?.......
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Fry-Day  

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