Corny Lines, Qoutes, Jokes


  • You must be a prizefighter. One look at you, and I’m knocked out.
  • With my luck, you’re probably here with someone.
  • Here I am! What were your other two wishes?
  • I really like your tan lines!
  • I lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?
  • Hi! Are you here to meet a nice man (or woman)? Or will I do?
  • Your shoe is untied. Can I tie it for you?
  • Have you ever had a guy follow you across the quad (or into a coffeehouse, onto the Metro) because he liked your smile?
  • Say…didn’t we go to different schools at the same time?
  • Do you have a quarter? I want to call your parents and thank them.
  • My name is Elmo. You can tickle me anytime.
  • You’re someone I could really blog about!
  • Were we lovers in a past life?
  • Um! You got sweet lips, hips, and fingertips.
  • Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  • Just because computers are incompatible doesn’t mean we are.
  • I memorized every number in the phone book, but managed to lose yours. I'm gonna need to get that.
  • Baby, you're sexier than socks on a rooster.
  • Would it freak you out if I said that I've already told my mother about you? (No, why?) Well, I already called her and asked her how to approach you.
  • Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?
  • A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. I guess you already know.
  • I guess I just wasn’t called to celibacy.
  • Excuse me, miss, are you here alone, or is the huge guy coming this way your brother?
  • Are you the girl from my future?
  • Coast Guard regulations, Miss - I have to inspect you for sand mites. (on the beach)
  • Would you like to get Chinese food (or Mexican or Italian or sushi) with me?
  • Oh, I’m having that dream again!
  • Did you drop this? (Hold out a dollar or a pen.)
  • Have you planned our wedding yet?
  • Do you like to cuddle?
  • Do you know how to use a whip?
  • Donna Summer wrote a song about you – “Hot Stuff.”
  • Were you in the high school band?
  • Were you ever a cheerleader?
  • Do you like music? (Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
  • Are you the man (woman) of my dreams?
  • O.K. you can kiss me later, but don’t tell anybody.
  • (for Catholic high-school kids) You look fab in that plaid jumper!
  • (for Catholics and Episcopalians in church) Confess here often?
  • I just won the lottery! (Reply) No, I just met you!
















  • Corny Lines, Qoutes, Jokes

    “Limits exist only in the mind.”

    Beautiful tomorrow never comes.
    When it comes, it is already TODAY ....!
    In the hunt of beautiful tomorrow
    Don't waste your wonderful today...!


    “Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.”

    “I guess you lose some and win some, long as the outcome is income. You know I want it all and then some.”
     
    "I’m in the world where things are taken, never given. How long they choose to love you will never be your decision.”
     
    “Trying to convince myself I’ve found one. Making the mistake I never learned from.”
     
     “She’s crying now but she’ll laugh again.” 
     
    “Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘awesoM’” ends with ‘me’ and ‘Ugly’ starts with ‘u’.”

    “Relationships are sometimes friends forever.” 
     
    “Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment.”
     
    “When love hurts you, dare to love again.”

    Corny Lines, Qoutes, Jokes

    "Between 1987 and 2012 the destructive impact of humanity peaks out so it can resurrect. The world's getting worse in order to get better."

    One night William told us, "True astrology, contrary to the pop version, is the art of identifying a person's uniqueness. That everyone is unique is a truism so commonplace as to be cliche. But authentic star work pinpoints the precise ways each of us is a distinct one-of-a-kind being."

    "The Atlanteans knew the great secret that Earth, like the human body, is a fluid medium, awash in tides of electromagnetic force, composed of invisible meridians, energy frequencies that weave together matter and can be manipulated for various purposes. Everything here is energy."

    "The future hinges upon the main soul drama of our species: will humankind awaken in time to claim its bright inheritance, or repeat the mistakes of the past and vanish in the muck?"

    "The riddle of our time is figuring out how to keep ourselves busy while the old drama of corrupt power plays its final scene. Underneath business as usual, though, the world's becoming pliant and volatile, claylike, raw, newborn, filled with danger and possibility."

    "When Earth dies, a part of us dies with her. I can't overstate the intensity of this. All over the world, underneath business as usual, the human soul is writhing -- and needs to -- and we have to stop repressing this fact and just get on with it so we can shed the skin of the past. But snakes are blind when they shed, so a great darkness is rising to consume the world."

    "Humanity's going to get very confused in the coming years and will need help as the new clashes with the old. Priestesses and yogis and shamans must rise from the ranks of secretaries and salesmen. Mundane life must split open its sacred core. We can no longer pretend to be normal. We're entering crisis, and everybody's recruited to dig for something deeper."

    "If prophecies of kali yuga are correct and the long hell of humanity is finally ending, then we have to face the fact that the old is also rising to assert itself one last time before giving up the ghost. That's what life forms do when faced with immanent destruction."

    "This will mess with your head because retrogressive forces all over the planet, sensing their demise, will act out more than ever. We cannot allow ourselves to be distracted by this. You can't bite the poisoned apple one more time."

    "Inspiration and enthusiasm open the channels," answered William. "Creative imagination is key. You've got to bust through numbness and isolation and fire up the soul. We have a lot of help for this, because the creative force locked in human beings is sick to death of being marginalized while machinelike drones take over the world."

    "The current Cosmic Weather Report," said the mage, "is that we've entered dangerous squalls of long-term high-pressure crisis that can be creatively understood as a major planetary death and rebirth. In your own way, whoever you are, wherever you live, the coming world pressure is asking you to mid-wife this process."

    "We have to awaken ourselves to awaken our world. We have to grasp the fact that life is so much more than we've been told. Even in a time of great deceit, deep force lies buries in the soul of the species, aching to come out."

    "You get the world to change by changing yourself, and holding that position until underground force building in collective consciousness gains critical mass to catalyze world change."

    "Crisis has the power to break the mass trance and ope you to something resurrective being seeded in the midst of loss and despair. Crisis undrugs the drugged state that passes for normalcy. It cracks you into a raw enough state to pry loose and repattern."

    "Even great evil serves to illustrate good, by pushing the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that it has to swing back."

    "Underground momentum for this has been building for centuries. The world is changing. Time is shifting. Karma is quickening. The veil between worlds is thinning. The dead are coming closer to the living. Spirit forces are flocking to our planet."

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