How to make one's laugh ^_^

1. Are you a surgeon? Cause you've just took my heart away!
2. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something ... My Jaw !!!
3. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

4. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

6. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

7. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

8. Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

9. My Love for you is like diarrahia ... I can't hold it in

10. I think you just stole something. [What?] My heart.

11. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

12. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!

13. I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.

14. If you were a booger I would pick you first.

15. Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

16. A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her "I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

17. People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

18. Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

19. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

20. If i was cosin squared and you were sin squared we would be one.

21. I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

22. Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

23. I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

24. Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

25. Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

26. "If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"

27. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

28. If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

29. Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

30. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

31. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

32. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

33. Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

34. Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?

35. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

36. You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

37. Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.

38. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

39. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

40. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

41. Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark.

42. Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!

43. If you were a steak you would be well done.

44. Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see

45. Did you fart, cause you blew me away. 

CHEESY CORNY PICK UP LINES

Top 20 Cheesy and Corny Pickup Lines

Pickup Line	Rating
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
I think there's something wrong with my eyes because I can't take them off you.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
I don't know which is prettier today, the water, the sky or your eyes.
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!
Hey, I didnt know angels flew so low.
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

Super Sweet Pick Up Lines

You used to make me smile, you used to make me laugh, but now your attitude makes me want to yak.

Im sweet like suger, soft like suade, but unlike you I never get played

I'm §uGaR & §piCe & EvErYtHiNg N¡Ce... b4 yOu Me§§ w/ Me... yOu ße§t ThiNk twiCe

Lil boys know they love you because they need you, Men need you cuz they know they love ya

East to the Sea,West to the Lands, Death to the girl who Touches my Man!

Boyz Are Great, Every Girl Should Have One

Dont worry about knowing people, make yourself worth knowing

True friends are loving, true friends care, and at the end the true friends are always there

An angel without it's wings, is just a friend in disguise.

*Don't ever be afraid to come to me n cry* *Don't ever hesitate to look me in the eye* *Don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel* *Remeber ur my gurls n we gotta keep it realL*

Hey baby, why you look so down? Seems like you need lovin', you need a girl like me around. Hey baby, why you cry? here take my hands and wipe those tears from your eyes...

Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile :-)

dOn't settLe 4 the oNe yOu Can LiVe wiTh...wAit 4 tHe onE yOu Can't Live WithOut

Don'wish on a star, reach for one!

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happend

*§omewhere There'§ §omeone Who Dream§ Of Your §mile, And Find§ In Your Pre§ence That Life I§ Worth While, §o When You Are Lonely, Remember It'§ True: §omebody, §omewhere Is Thinking Of You*

...Cancel my subscripton.. ..I'm over ur issues..

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

The most wasted of all days in one without laughter

*ThE dIrTy LoOkz* *Da JeAloUs StArEs* *N tHe FuNnY pArT is* *U tHiNk I cArE*

*Through truth n lies -smiles n dispare, a hug - a giggle - a "hows my hair" u kno ill be there till the end, ur my true best friend*

~*Love is friendship set on fire*~

Nothin's like being held sometimes

*Guys r like slinkies it's always fun 2 watch them fall down the stairs* *Girls r like phones, we like 2 b held and talked to, but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!*

In your sleep It's got you so deep, My sweet melody Has captured you Forevermore...

No matter what people say We got it going on Who cares about what they think We are the number one

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are wicked and 5% are good. God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good because He wanted to encourage them. . . give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said? You didn't get one either, huh?

YOU STAND IN YOUR OWN LIGHT, MAKE IT SHINE!!!!

shop till u drop then find some hott guys to help you up!

~Sometimes someone says something really small that can fit into a really big empty place in your heart.~

~Dream as if u'll live forever, live as if u'll die 2day.~

~I didn't ask to be a princess, but hey if the crown fits!~

~I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. Turned off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me good night...~

~There's no escape I can't wait I need a hit Baby, give me it You're dangerous I'm lovin' it~

~In the cookies of life, your friends are the chocolate chips~

~ An AnGeLs WaT Im MeAnT Ta b SoOoO BeIng SwEeT CoMeS NaTuRaLlY!!

*~*P-Perfect, R-Radiant, I-Irresistible, N-Never Wrong, C-Cute, E-Everything Cute and Adorable, S-Super Woman, S-Soooo Special = Princess = ME!!*~*

(*).·*¤»Boyz R just Like Mobile Phones...They AlwayZ NeeD Recharging.·*¤»(*)

.·°*¤»I wasn't kissin him.. I was telling his lips a secret... ¤*°·.

:P(¯`·._.·When god made me he was just showing off(¯`·._.·:P

«:¤¨¨¤:Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once!:¤¨¨¤:»:P

Your hugs and kisses are like the stars. You light up my life when things get dark.

I'm through with guys.. they all tell lies. They break your heart and make you cry. Loving guys is such a sin... Hey check out that guy who just walked in!!!

you can fall from the sky.. you can fall from a tree.. but the best way to fal..l is in luv with me!

~*(*)You know your gay if you don't wanna be with me(*)*~

~TaNk ToPs FlIp FlOpZ IcE cReAm SwEeT DrEaMz LaTe NiGhTz BaLlOoN FiGhTzZ A NiCe BrOwN SuNtAn A GaMe PlAn FeEt In Da SaNd DrInK In My HaNd ...tHaNk GoD iTz.. SuMmEr

CuTe EnUf 2 MaKe U lOoK tWiCe, SwEeT eNuF bUt NoT 2 nIcE, a LiL cRaZy BuT nOt 2 WiLd, ThE kInDa GiRl ThAt WiLl MaKe U sMiLe.

--Lifes too Short-- kiss slowly . love deeply . forgive quickly

pInK tHoNg sExXe eYeS AlL u GoTa Do Is FaNtAcIzE

If i throw a stick, will you leave?

*~Strangers are just friends waiting to happen~*

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!

You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back.

Ashes 2 ashes, dust 2 dust, life is short, so party we must

hard work never killed any1 but y take n-e chances.

*Don't be scared when a big old fat man comes in your room in the middle of the night, and throws u in a bag, i told Santa i wanted u for Christmas.*

I'm Blonde, what's Ur excuse?

Chessy Pick Up Lines

Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Got two nipples for a dime?

Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

CHEESY CORNY PICK UP LINES

“Do you know how to drive?, Yes (make sure the answer would be YES). ‘Coz you drive me crazy”

Pinoy Funny English Pick Up Lines


“Are you on Facebook? ‘Coz I’d definitely click Like.”

“Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?”

“If I were an Azkal, then you are my goal.”

“Sorry, I forgot your name, can I call you mine?”

“Well, here I am! What were your two other wishes?”

“If I were a gardener, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.”

“Hi, you got raisins? No? Well, how about a date?”

“My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.”

“You must be a thief, ‘coz you stole my heart.”

“Hi, I’m Right… Mr. Right. You were looking for me?”

“Is your name Gillette? Coz you’re the best a man can get!”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you.”

“Your legs must be tired, coz you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

“You must be Jamaican, coz Jamaican me crazy.”

“You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.”

“Hi, my name is (your name), and you are… gorgeous!”

“Are you a tamale? Coz you’re hot!”

“Hi, have I seen you before? Oh yes, now I remember, in my dreams!”

“I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?”

“Am I in heaven? Or do you just look like an angel?”

“Your dad must’ve been retarded, ‘coz you are special.”

“Your dad must be a terrorist, ‘coz yoh da bomb!”

“Was your dad an alien? ‘Coz honey, there’s nothing else like you on planet Earth!”

“Do you have a map? ‘Coz I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“Am I a bad shooter? ‘Coz I keep on missing you.”

“Hi, you must be the devil? ‘Coz you’re hot as hell!”

“Hi, I’m Batman. Do you wanna see my batmobile?”

“Hi, I’m Superman. Can you read my mind?”

“Hi, you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”

“Wanna bet 100 bucks you’re gonna turn me down?”

“Kiss me if I’m wrong… but isn’t your name (take a guess)?”

“Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.”

“Hi, I know I’m a guy but I want to be Alice, coz your body’s a Wonderland.”

Filipino / Pinoy Funny Pick Up Lines Tagalog

O, Tagalog naman tayo, dahil mas matindi raw humirit ang mga Pinoy:

“Miss, Google ka ba? Kasi, nasa iyo ang lahat ng hinahanap ko.”

“Miss, album ka ba? Kasi, single ako, eh.”

“Apoy ka ba? Kasi ‘alab’ you.”

“Para kang traffic sa EDSA! ‘Coz I just can’t move on!”

“Tatakbo ka ba sa eleksyon? Kasi, botong-boto sa yo ang parents ko.”

“Ice ka ba? Crush kita eh.”

“Para kang tindera ng sigarilyo. You give me ‘hope’ and ‘more’…”

“Calculator ka ba? Kasi, sa ‘yo pa lang, solved na ko.”

“Keyboard ka ba? Kasi type kita.”

“Pustiso ka ba? ‘Coz I can’t smile without you.”

“Kung posporo ka at posporo ako, eh di, match tayo!”

“Di mo pa nga ako binabato, tinatamaan na ‘ko sa yo.”

“Pulis ba tatay mo? Kasi, nahuli mo ang puso ko.”

“Matalino ka ba talaga? Sige nga, sagutin mo ‘ko!”

“Buti pa ang email, may attachment.”

“Di ka naman camera, pero tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako.”

“Dalawang beses lang naman kita gusto makasama… ‘now’ and ‘forever.’”

“Inii-SMALL ka ba nila? Di bale, inii-BIG naman kita!”

“Hindi lahat ng buhay ay buhay. Tingnan mo ‘ko – buhay nga pero patay na patay naman sa ‘yo!”

“Kodigo ka ba? Kasi, ikaw ang sagot sa lahat ng tanong ko, eh.”

“Kakapagod kasing umupo, eh. Pwede bang tayo na lang?”

“Hindi ka ba nalulungkot, babe? Nag-iisa ka lang kase sa puso ko eh.”

“Top view, side view, bottom view, kahit anong view, I love view.”

“Tulisan ba tatay mo? Kasi nabihag mo puso ko.”

“Magaling ka ba sa algebra? Can you substitute my ‘x’?”

“Masasabi mo bang bobo ako, kung ikaw lamang ang laman ng utak ko?”

“Amo ba kita? Bakit inaalila mo ang puso ko?”

“Centrum ka ba? Kasi, you make my life complete!”

“Alam mo ba ang pinakamasarap na feeling sa buong mundo? Ang maka-feeling ka!”

“Miss, mekaniko ka ba? Kasi, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko.”

“Miss, pwede ka bang maging side-car? Single kasi ako.”
 

Love Qoutes

Here are some famous love quotes that we plan to update with your contributions as well.

The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.
~ William Somerset Maugham

Kiss me and you will see stars; love me and I will give them to you.”
~Unknown

All love is sweet, given or returned.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
~Judy Garland

Love is a passion which kindles honor into noble acts.
~John Dryden

I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
~ Roy Croft

We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.
~Mother Teresa ( Not the romantic Love)

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
~Ingrid Bergman

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.
~Stendhal

If you want to be loved, be lovable.
~Ovid

Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.
~Gary Zukav

All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.
~Julie Andrews

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.
~Dan Greenburg ( Here are some more Funny Love quotes that we recently added)

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
~Alfred Lord Tennyson ( More love quotes by Alfred Lord Tennyson)

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
~Eva Gabor.. And here are some love quotes for him.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
~William Shakespeare

All mankind love a lover.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
~ Woody Allen (More Funny Love Quotes)

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity.
~George Bernard Shaw

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
~H. L. Mencken

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
~Ben Hecht

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
~Plato

Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry.
~Eric Segal

Love gives itself; it is not bought.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
~James Baldwin

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
~Franklin P. Jones

Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.
~John Lennon

Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?
~The wise Confucius on Love

Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
~Love quote by Voltaire

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.
~Rabindranath Tagore

Love is my religion – I could die for that.
~John Keats

If music be the food of love, play on.
~ William Shakespeare

Love works a different way in different minds, the fool it enlightens and the wise it blinds.
~John Dryden

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.
~Kahlil Gibran

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know it has begun.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

CHEESY CORNY PICK UP LINES

My love, you know you are my best friend.
You know that I'd do anything for you
And my love, let nothing come between us.
My love for you is strong and true.
~ by Sarah McLachlan ~

I sought for Love
But Love ran away from me.
I sought my Soul
But my Soul I couldn't see.
Then I sought You,
And I found all three.
~ by Unknown Author ~

The best feelings are those that
Have no words to describe them....
~ by Michelle Hammersley ~

Let the world stop turning,
Let the sun stop burning,
Let them tell me love's not worth going through.
If it all falls apart,
I will know deep in my heart,
The only dream that mattered had come true
...In this life I was loved by you.
~ by Bette Midler ~

We are all born for love...
it is the principle existence and it's only end.
~ by Disraeli ~

We can only learn to love by loving.
~ by Iris Murdoch ~

May no gift be too small to give,
nor too simple to receive,
which is wrapped in thoughtfulness
and tied with love.
~ by L.O. Baird ~

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
~ by Oliver Wendell Holmes ~

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
~ by Maulana Jalalu'ddin Rumi ~

Love is a fruit in season at all times,
and within the reach of every hand.
~ by Mother Teresa ~

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.
~ by Sir Hugh Walpole ~

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
~ by Erich Fromm ~

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine.
~ by Steve Winwood ~

Love does not consist in gazing at each other
but in looking together in the same direction.
~ by Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

You come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
~ by Sam Keen ~

Love is always bestowed as a gift --
freely, willingly, and without expectation....
We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
~ by Leo Buscaglia ~

Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.
~ by Elbert Hubbard ~

The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable.
~ by Victor Hugo ~

Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.
~ by Rev Ed Hird ~

True happiness and a fullness of joy can be found only in the tender and intimate relationships of the family. However earnestly we may seek success and happiness outside the home through work, leisure activities, or large bank accounts, we will never be fully satisfied emotionally until we develop deep and loving relationships.
~ by James J. Jones Ph.D. ~

CHEESY CORNY PICK UP LINES

I gathered these pick-up lines because of my colleauge at work. We were asked to intruduce ourselves and he always say this piece,

"Hi, my name is Michael Alcantara. You can call me 'Mike' for short, and for the girls, you can call me anytime."

We were all laughing out loud when we heard him so I had this idea on posting pick-up lines here. They are cheesy, I know, so laugh till you drop! Ü


**Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

**I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!

**Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

**You know, You're like a diamond, coz' you are the most luxurious thing that I don't want to loose..

**I hate to say this but... You are like my underwear.. i can't last a day without you!!

**I'm a bee... can you be my honey??

**Am i a bad shooter?? coz i keep on missing you..

**Pwede bang tabi tayo palagi tuwing may exam... kasi I feel PERFECT beside you!

**Sana "T" na lang ako... para i'm always right next to "U"

**Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight?? O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako??

**Alarm clock ka ba? ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso.

**Aanhin pa ang damo kung sayo pa lang may tama na ako.

**Para kang Centrum. you make my life complete.

**Miss favor naman oh, marunong ka bang mag ayos ng cellphone? Pki check naman og sira ata, wala kc number mo.

**Alam mo mukhang inodoro... sa tuwing nakikita kc kita para aqng taeng nahuhulog sau!

**Para kang isang pustiso.. I can't smile without you.

**Sabi nila kasi libre lang mangarap.Libre ka ba?Ikaw kasi ang pangarap ko eh.

**Pag-ibig ko sa iyo ay parang opening ng Wowowee… Hindi magbabago.

**Para kang tindera ng sigarilyo…You give me “hope” and… “more"

**Saan mo gusto ikasal? Kasi ako… sa tabi mo…

**Me lisensya ka ba??*** coz you're driving me crazy..

**Nakakatakot diba ang multo?? pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko..

**Dalawang beses lang naman kitang nais makasama…… Now and Forever!

**Grabe nakakatawa yung mga pick-up lines noh?? hahaha! May alam ka pabang iba?? Wala na akong maisip eh.. kundi ikaw.. (so cheesy!)

Harry Potter Funny Jokes

I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".

4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7.The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.

16. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."

21. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you never go back."

22. I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".

25. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

27. I am not a tribble Animagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. Sirius Black is not #24601.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. I am not being repressed.

35. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.

36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. I am not a Pinball Wizard.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

49. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'

loved your jokes!

CORNY PICK UP LINES OF BF TO HER GF

Girl: If you were a thing what would you be?

Guy: Your EVERYTHING.


bf: sorry pero hindi na kita mahal
gf: (confused) ano??? bakit???
bf: kasi kung may higit pa sa salitang mahal, yun na ang nararamdaman ko sa'yo...
gf: (kilig to the bones) ang baduy mo talaga! san mo naman nakuha yan???
bf: dito...sa puso ko.
gf: lalong baduy!!! 


Courting stage nag uusap kami sa phone and biglang parang naubusan kami ng kwento, so parang nag seryoso ako ng tanong.

me: so anong goals and plans mo sa buhay...
hubby: yung mahalin mo rin ako, mapaligaya ka, at makasama habang buhay!


may butas ba ang puso mo? kasi natrap ako sa loob, di na ko makalabas...



me: nasan ka?
boy: wala ba ako jan sa puso mo???





me: hon, sakit ng ulo ko..
bf: wag mo nga kasi ako pinag-iisip. lagi mo na lang ako pinag-iisip eh..napapagod din naman ako..(boses galit)
me: **confused**
bf: pagod na pagod na ako kakatakbo dyan sa isip mo kaya sumasakit ang ulo mo..


me: ano ba gusto mo?
bf: ikaw.

habang nagbibiruan:
me: adik ka!
bf: oo adik na [textspeak!]. adik na sayo.


Nasira camera ko recently. Of course, nalungkot ako at super nabad trip. My boyfriend offered his camera so I can still take pictures and capture the moments...

Biglang hirit ng... "Ako kasi nasa puso at utak ko lahat ng mga moment na andito ka sa buhay ko. My mind processes how beautiful you are and how put color into my memories..."




my bf was confined sa hospital for almost a week and ako nagbantay sa kanya. one night, matutulog na ko,

me : ano ba yan? dito na ko nakatira sa ospital.. (mejo sweet and nakangisi ako)
bf : hindi ka nakatira sa ospital. dito ka nakatira sa puso ko.. ayan ha may permanent address ka na..





bf: buy ka sa ace hardware ng padlock for your luggage to SG
me: babe galing nga ako sa ace hardware yesterday but they dont have single padlock. they have 6 in 1 pack. and costs a little like 300 bucks. ano naman gagawin ko sa limang natitirang padlocks?
bf: eh di padlock mo na ang puso ko = I
me: padlock 5 times? yiheee =)
bf:and only you holds the key to my heart. naks!

cheezyyy! 

SHORT FUNNY QOUTES EVER

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Short funny quotes by, Bob Hope


"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
Short funny quotes by, Ronald Reagan


"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein


"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Short funny quotes by, Dean Martin


"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
Short funny quotes by, Tommy Lasorda


"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor


"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
Short funny quotes by, Jim Wohford


"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.
Short funny quotes by, Yogi Berra


"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson Short funny quotes by, Yogi Berra


"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Short funny quotes by, Bill Cosby


"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Short funny quotes by, Albert Einstein

New Tagalog Pick up Lines

1. Czarovic – “Kung magkakaroon ako ng sariling planeta, gusto ko ikaw ang axis nito, para sa iyo lang iikot ang mundo ko.”
2. Nakakapagpabagabag – “Sana Facebook status ka nalang, para puwede kitang i-like.”
3. Kuya Tot – “Ibenta mo na bahay mo, tutal nandito ka na nakatira sa puso ko.”
4. Hannahbeh – “Sana naka-off ang ilaw, para tayo nalang mag-on.”
5. No name – “Noodles ka ba? Kasi lucky me.”
6. Drent – “Para tayong kuwento ni Juan Tamad. Ako si Juan Tamad, ikaw yung bayabas. Hinihintay lang kitang mahulog sa kin.”
7. Specialist – “Ang buhay ko ay parang seesaw. Pag wala ka, down ako.”
8. No name – “Para kang holdaper. Lahat ibibigay ko sa yo, wag mo lang akong saktan.”
9. Astroboy – Boy: “Anong Tagalog ng ‘I love you’?” Girl: “Mahal kita.” Boy: “Mahal din kita.”
10. Nemotastic – “Ang galing mo din no? Di mo pa ko binabato, tinamaan na ko sa yo.”
11. West Ice Toshiba – “Miss, may nakapagsabi na ba sa iyong…ang guwapo ko?”
12. Neophyte – “Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, wag lang taguan. Kasi a girl like you is hard to find.”
13. Nemotastic – “Album ka ba? Kasi single ako.”
14. Caramello – “Sana exam mo nalang ako, para sagutin mo din ako.”
15. Siko ni Kuya Mar – “Kung ibibigay ko ba sa yo ang manibela ng puso ko, ibabangga mo sa pader ng kabiguan?”
16. YñaKì/Cyril – “Bastos ka rin no? Di ka man lang nagpapaalam tuloy-tuloy kang pumasok sa puso ko!”
17. Bien – “Google ka ba? Lahat kasi ng hinahanap ko, sa iyo ko natagpuan eh!”
18. Asar – “Steady ka ba? Gusto kitang galawin eh.”
19. Grim Vixen – “Parang kang tae; hindi kita kayang paglaruan.”
20. No name – “Dalawa lang ang pwedeng mangyari. Either magmurahan tayo o magmahalan tayo. So ano?”
21. McDENZEL – “Hindi ko alam ang katapusan ng universe, pero alam ko, ang simula, U N I.”
22. Duke – “Nakalimutan ko pangalan mo eh. Puwede bang tawagin nalang kitang AKIN?”
23. Codename No_Codename – “Nakalunok ka ba ng kuwitis? Kasi pag ngumiti ka…may spark!”
24. Renj – “Para kang paaralan, gusto kitang pasukan araw-araw.”
25. Blair – “Sana ikaw ang cardiologist ko…para ikaw ang mag-aalaga sa puso ko.”
26. K2ytes – “Nasira yata cellphone ko, kasi wala dito number mo eh!”
27. West Ice Toshiba – “Siguro freezer ka tapos tubig naman ako. Pag pinasok kita, tumitigas ako!”
28. Austin Hojilla – “Sana scientist ako, para ikaw naman ang lab ko.”
29. Dru – “Miss, para kang rebond, nagawa mo kong straight!”
30. Astroboy – “Sana ako nalang si antok, para gabi-gabi puwede kitang dalawin.”
31. Eien17 – “Feeling mo ba may kulang sa buhay mo? Baka AKO yun!”
32. Randy Jackstone – “Tindera ka ba ng yosi? Kasi you give me HOPE…and MORE.”
33. Tripleplay 23 – “Lamesa ka ba? Gusto kitang patungan eh!”
34. Amia Jo – “Umutot ka ba? Kasi you blew me away.”
35. Amia Jo – “Para ka namang kulangot, you’re so hard to get.”
36. Amia Jo – “Baril ka ba? Patira naman, kahit isang putok lang.”
37. John Lloyd Van Damme – “Miss may ipagtatapat ako sa yo…ayan…nakatapat na.”
38. RVincent – “Minsan gusto kitang galitin, para patulan mo naman ako.”
39. Pole Dancer – “Magic lamp ka ba? Sige nga, pahimas!”
40. No name – “Para kang cactus. Kasi handa akong masaktan, mayakap ka lang.”
41. Paul Ignatius – “Musician ka ba? Tumataas nota ko sa yo eh!”
42. Blitzkrieg – “Tricycle ka ba? Pasakay naman, hanggang labasan lang.”
43. D’ Pusher -”Sana naging palay ka nalang, para puwede kitang bayuhin.”
44. Gracia – “Sana posporo ka at posporo ako, para match tayo.”
45. Spongebob – “Pssst…magkano?”
46. No name – “Fishball ka ba? Ang sarap mong tuhugin eh!”
47. No name – “Pag wala ka, ang buhay ko parang lapis na hindi pa natatasahan: pointless.”
48. Maverick – “Sumali ka ng contest no? Kasi PANALO ka eh!”
49. KiD BuKid – Boy: “Puwede ba kitang maimbitahan para mag pizza at sex?” Girl: “Ayoko nga!” Boy: “Ay bakit, ayaw mo ng pizza?”
50. Maximo – “Sana naging manok ka nalang. Para lagi mong inuupuan mga itlog ko.”

Kilig Banat Qoutes

Because you liked Tagalog Quotes post and asked for more,  Here is “part two” – Cheesy Banat Edition! Note:  Some Kadiri and Naughty banat* also included, not suitable for all audiences. Parental advice is recommended.

Banat- it is a Tagalog term for a witty one-liner. Depending on situation can also be considered a pick-up line.

————————————————————————————–

hi…. can i be your textmate? i got your number from heaven, you’re an angel in disguise right?

para kang oatmeaL, you know why ?? coz’ you’re good to my heart ..

“here let me tie your shoe laces, so you won’t fall for anyone else:P..”

miss di ka ba napapagod kasi takbo ka ng takbo sa isip ko..

can i strip your clothes off? because i want to know how angels hide their wings.

sana naging kandila ka nalang…para kapag hinipan kita, dedbol kana… ahehehe..

miss, para kang kayamanan, kasi sarap mung ibaon, haha ..

kung nagugutom ako at kelangan ko ng isang taong makakapagpabusog sa aken, pde ba kitang lapitan at sabihin.. Pakagat naman kahit sa labi man lang. ” LOL?

pwede mo ba ako samahan? san? samahan HABANGBUHAY. :p

boy : “i did not kiss his girlfriend..
i just whispered something
in her mouth..” ~>hanep sa palusot )

if i were to rearrange the alphabets, i would put “U” and “I” together.:)

pag may hinahanap ka tapos tanong nya, ano ba kailangan mo “insert endearment here” sagot ko ano kelangan ko? “IKAW” hehehe

Pra kng alak..hbang tumatagal lalong sumasarap! Ay ano b un! Haha

‘ miss, pwede ba kta abutin ? ikaw kasi pangarap ko e’ .. hehe ..

keyboard k b? type kasi kita! wahahaha

sana holdaper ka na lang… para “ibibigay ko sayo lahat, wag mo lang akong sasaktan..” ooopppss.. lol..

catcher ka ba? sinasalo mo kz aq tuwingbinabato nya ako…:))

‘ haLa, akaLa ko umaga na ! LumiLiwanag kasi mundo ko pag kasama kita ..

hindi tayo TAO. . BAGAY tayo. . BAGAY na BAGAY! NYETA ang KESO mo. .haha

miss KULANGOT kba? ANG sarap MO kcng BILUGIN. . haha!

‘ pustiso kb ? coz’ i can’t smiLe without you ..

para kang centrum.. coz u complete me.. haha!!

Kandila ka sana para pwde kitang itirik sa puso kong patay na patay sayo!

‘ panu mu makikita ang taong magmamahaL sayo at makakasama mu sa habang buhay ???

“kung hindi ka nmn sa akin naka-tingin ??”

Cheese ka ba? Gusto kasi kitang ipalaman sa puso ko eh! <nyoks>

miss Pulitiko ka ba? Boto kasi parents ko sayo eh! <ngee>

oxygen kaba? feeling ko kasi mamamatay ako kung wala ka..

centrum ka ba?? coz u make my life complete

apoy kba? kc alab alab. alab u!

d ka ba nalulunkot?? nagiisa ka lng kc sa puso ko.. hahaa!!

daga ka ba? kasi ako ang pusang habol ng habol sayo.

bkit may mr right pero walang ms right?! kasi we’re all right..;))

kung may rabis ang laway mo.. handa akong

maulol, MAHALIKAN LANG KITA…

Ang araw ka ba? Kasi sau umiikot ang mundo ko.

“sana ulan ka at lupa ako, para kung ayaw mo’t sa gusto, sakin ang bagsak mo… ”

Ikaw b ang kadiliman? Wala na kasi kong makitang iba kapag andyan ka.

drugs ka ba? kasi nakakadik ka eh

‘Tumatangkad ka ah! Dati hanggang dito ka lang, ngayon nasa isip na kita.’

‘Ikaw naman parang lumiliit ata! Dati kasi lagpas ulo kita, ngayon nasa puso na kita.’ ?

multo ka ba??? kase pag naki2ta kita bumibilis tibok ng puso ko ehh…

magnanakaw ka noh?bkit?ninakaw mo puso ko…:))

‘Pag namatay ba ako, iiyak ka? Ngayon pa lang kasi, patay na patay na ako sa’yo eh!’

Pwde bang MCDO na lang tawag ko sau? Kasi nakakahiya kong sabihing, Love ko ‘to

ampalaya ka ba? Kasi kahit anong pait ang nararanasan ko sayo ikaw pa rin ang sustansya ng buhay ko!

im an addict..you are the drug.

Kaw ba c Jolibee? Kasi I love u sabado, kahit buong linggo. (galing lumang commercial)

virus ka ba? kung virus k man d kita hahayaang matanggal kz mas nanaisin ko png masira sistema ko kesa mawala ka…

wag mong pilitin bk pumayag.. hehe

Di bale nang masubsob ako…Kung sasakto naman sa labi mo

Jejem0n kb?., edi jejem0n nrin aQ pra mAtch tau., haha!

camera ka ba? kasi tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako

alam mo miss pra kng google! kc lhat ng hinhanap q nsa iyo n!

Tae ka ba? D kasi kita matiis at magawang tapakan.

unggoy kba ?? bkit ?? sumasabit ka ksi sa puso ko

I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?=))

anong height mo? bakit? nagtataka lang ako kung pano ka nagkasya sa puso ko.

papasok na ako…? saan? sa puso mo..;))

i don’t have my number..can i have yours?

para kang painting. hindi kasi ako nagsasawang titigan ka..

Tapos na ba ung exam mo? Para ako naman sagutin mo.

Ampalaya ka ba sa ref? Coz ur cold and bitter. Hehe.

‘ my butas ba puso mo ?? bkt ? na-trap kasi ko sa Loob, i can’t find my way out .. hehe ..

para kang libag, pilit kitang inaalis pero balik ka pa rin ng balik

uling ka ba? nagbabaga na damdamin ko sayo eh

Celphone ka ba? Andmi kasing gus2ng mang snatch sau! Ngpapasnatch ka naman! Sige sa kanya ka na,
paBlock na lang kta NTC pra wala ka ng silbi.

‘ hehe .. joana, confirm mu na ung friend request ko .. hehe.. tnx !

kapag ako may tindahan, lahat ng tao bebentahan ko ng mura, sayo lang hindi, dahil sayo lang ako
magmamahal…

tray ni joanna lalo 2loy akong na iinluv skanya .. kulangot kba?? hard to get ka ksi ..

intsik ka ba? kasi i’ll siomai love to you, and i hopia love me too.

joanna, ylanan ba talaga apelido mo? coz i didn’t know that angels have surnames…

para kang facebook! hindi kita maiwan!

cellphone ka ba? coz i cnt live w/o you! haha

mahilig ka ba magluto na pancit canton? Kasi pag kasama kita, feeling ko, “LUCKY ME.” …..

..papupulis kita..ninakaw mO kasi ang puso ko..=p

noong minahal kita, talo mo pa ang traffic sa EDSA. I CANT MOVE ON!

Sunday at 02:18 · Flag

buti pa ang biglaang lakad natutuloy, tayo hindeeee!!!

ikaw ba may ari ng meralco? kasi pag kasama kita, nararamdaman ko ang spark!

taxi kba joanna ??ksi hbang tumatagal lalo akong napapamahal sayo ..

C Pepeng at Ondoy kaba? Cmula npadaan ka sa buhay ko, cnira mo lahat.

Relo kba? Lagi kc akong npapatingin sau.

smart ka ba? coz you’re simply amazing

wala na kong relo, kasi lahat ng oras ko, binigay ko na sayo!

@joanna, you’re so hot, you must be the cause of global warming!

pag nagising ka na puro pula na ang paligid mo, wag kang matakot. wala ka sa impyerno. nandito ka sa puso
ko. yeeee ???

@kei, you’re so cool, maybe you can save the polar bears

alak ka ba? nasusuka ko sayo eh )

..magsalbabida ka nga,kasi baka malunod ka sa pag-ibig ko..=p

if u dont want to see ur loved one smoking, then better find a way to make their lips busy..

i’m not feeling myself ltely, perhaps i should feel someone else )

para kang chicharon! nakakahighblood ka!

@joanna: yeah baby… i just lost my teddy bear pa naman, can i sleep with you?

kng mgiging tau, mamahalin kita ng parang rexona, coz i wont let you down!

Bagyo ka ba? Ang lakas kc ng dating mo.

sana naging dugo nlng ako. para lagi akong nsa puso mo

boy: kala ko ba matalino ka, bat d moko kyang sagutin?

girl: eh ksi nga matalino ako at alam ko d ikaw ung sagot!

Epinephrine ka ba? Kaw lang kc pwdeng bumuhay sa namamatay kong puso. (banat ng mga taga ER)

REDHORSE KBA?? LAKAS TAMA KSI AKO SAYO !!!

para kang asukal, ang sweet mo kc.

sana science na para you’re in lab with me XD

para kang bangko! ang laki na ng interes ko sayo!

Ibbenta ko sau sarili ko sa mataas na presyo para matawag mo kong “mahal”

para kang malutong na pera, ayaw kitang ibigay sa iba

@joanna: if you were a new hamburger at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous. aliw!
nakalunok ka cguro ng electricfan. ang hangin mo kase

tae ka ba? hindi kasi kita kayang tiisin.
kamag-anak mo ba cna tupperware at cellophane? plastik ka rn kc eh.

hypermart k b? (clap twice) coz’ im “happy to serve” you!

my diatabs ka ba??natatae kasi ako s taranta kapag nakikita kita! haha

Mangkukulam kba? Ginayuma mo ata kc ako eh.

si nemo ka ba? lagi nlng kitang hinahanap.

ballpen ka ba? kc papel ako. perfect match tayo!

Band aid kba? Pwde ba ktang ilagay sa sugatan kong puso.

nakapagreview ka na ba? kasi mamaya pasasagutin na kita

Sa sobrang dami ng mga cheesy lines ngayon wala na kong maisip na iba. Ikaw na lang ang nasa isip ko.

Apoy ka ba? Kasi a-lab, a-lab, a-lab you… DD

Banat ng bitter na ex: “So what kung may chemistry kayo? Bukod sa may history tayo… I know your
anatomy…”

cellphone ka ba? kc d kita maiwan-iwan.

para kang utot,… nakakatakot pakawalan, nakakamatay pag pinakawalan!

Lahat na nagmamahalan, tayo na lang ang hindi… v

pra kang facebook. d ako mkatulog dhil sau!

SM ka ba? Because you got it all for me.

Ate, kailangan mo ba ng balde? Nag-uumapaw kasi kgndahan mo eh )

Pangatlo:
Girl: May bagong unlimited ah?
Boy: Oh? Nu naman unli un?
Girl: Ikaw, unlimited ka sa puso ko!
Boy: Wow ha! talaga?… See more
Girl: OO! BUKAS EXPIRED KNA!!!

Ibenta niyo na lang bahay niyo, libre ka naman tumira sa puso ko.

Pang-apat: Grabe na talaga mga banat ngayon no? Sa sobrang dami wala na akong maisip kundi IKAW….

Anong oras na?…Para masulat ko sa diary ko kung anong oras ako na in-love sayo…”

I’m a bee, can you be my honey?

Boy: saya ng araw ko!
Girl: bakit naman?
Boy: dahil kasama kita..

Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar? Kasi single kasi ako!

Hndi ka ba napapagod? (bakit?)
maghapon ka kasing tumatakbo sa isip ko.
wheeee…;)

Guy: mrs. Pwede ko poh ba ligawan anak nyo?
Mrs: di pwede nag aaral pa sya..
Guy:ahh.. Ok poh, mea na lng uwian…

Para kang ebak.
(bakit?)
Hindi kita kayang Paglaruan…

maglaro tayu.. wag lang taguan.. kasi a girl like you is impossible to find..

Alam m I hate all d letters in d alphabet but I love U so much…:]]

boy:ms. alam mo para kang chicharon, girl: why naman??? the boy answered…ang sarap mo kcing kainin at
 papakin….hehe…

kupal ask: gaano moh ako kamahal?

Cheesy banat: hindi masusukat ng ano man o nino man..

pra kang isang lanatang bulaklak na nghi2ntay ng patak ng ulan d2 amn puso q naghi2ntay ng ksagutan…

BAHALA PANGIT BASTA HULOG NG LANGIT. =P

OK LANG TAWAGIN MO AKONG HALIMAW BASTA OK LANG DN BA SAYO KAININ
KITA?. >=)

MABUTI PA ANG MULTO NAG PAPARAMDAM! EH IKAW!? =(

BAHALA NA MAPUROROT BASTA PUSO’Y DI KIKIROT. d=)
KAHIT DI AKO KAGWAPUHAN BASTA TANDAAN MO AAWAYIN KO SILA WAG KA LANG
MAHIPUAN

UTOT MO MAN AY MABAHO, ITO’Y AKING TITIISIN WAG KA LANG MAGLAHO. =]

ako’y isang exam kaya sgutin mo n ako
 

Romantic Love Qoutes

Here's a large collection of famous love quotes and sayings. These love quotes are inspiring and beautiful.

Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!
~ from the movie Moulin Rouge ~

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

I would fly you to the moon and back if you'll be . . . if you'll be my baby.
~ From a song by Savage Garden ~

I love you - those three words have my life in them.
~ by Alexandrea to Nicholas III ~

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you.
~ by John Keats ~

I'd like to run away
From you,
But if you didn't come
And find me ...
I would die.
~ by Shirley Bassey ~

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
~ by Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) ~

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.
~ From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole
Soul meets soul on lover's lips.
~ by Percy Bysshe Shelly ~

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss.
I've always found time to teach them.
~ by Mae West ~

Even More Cheesy Tagalog Pickup Lines

Here are more funny pickup lines like the ones from My Amnesia Girl. Some are not as good as the others though. But still, it's a good laugh. Enjoy.

para akong utot coz i'll take ur breath away.....and for sure i'll always take ur breath away

ketchup ka ba....bakit...
kasi hanap hanap ka ng hotdog ko

Hey! Can you recommend a good banker where I can make a deposit..
Why?
'Cause I'm planning to save all my LOVE for you..XD

mULto kba??
kasE pag nKikita kita bUmiBiLis tibOk
nG pUso ko eihHh...!

tubig is water ilog is river combine them together, i love you for ever.....

JAPAN kba? eh pano kc you're the land of my rising sun.

FREEZER ka ba ???
- tinitigasan kasi ako sa yo e !!

exchange gift tayo. sakin ka at sayo naman ako. :)

alam mo para kang bato!
baket?..
kase you ROCK MY WORLD....

AMPALAYA KABA?
kase kahit anung pait sinapit ko sau..
kaw parin sustansya hinahanap ng puso ko!

Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!!
di pa nga tayo magkakilala pumasok ka na sa puso ko

April's Pick Up Lines

This post is just to say hi and thanks for stopping by. Pick up lines are both stupid and funny. They are a good way to break up the ice but use with caution or you might look like a doofis (or geek).

The most famous pick up line of all time: Is hey baby, what is your sign? Used through the seventies, it is in my opinion, one of the least clever and corniest lines used today.

Have fun reading more corny pick up lines on my site.

Baby, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your Bedrock
YABA DABA DO

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
CLEARLY A BAD LINE

Do you want to see something swell? DOES ANYONE SAY SWELL ANYMORE?

Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash,
would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
POOR BOYS DRINK ALONE

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
THERE'S A PARTY IN MY HEAD AND YOU ARE INVITED

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
I HAVE NO RESPONSE TO THIS


I've gotta thirst and you smell like my Gatorade.
OKKKKKKKK?

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my number, could I borrow yours?
HOW CAN YOU BORROW A NUMBER?

My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your blouse in a public place.
WORKED IN A STRIP CLUB?

34 Pick Up lines ng Bisdak!

1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko..
*** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo..
2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola??
*** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko..
3. Uy picture tayo!!
*** para ma-develop tayo!!
4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita??
*** hinde, para lagi kita mamimiss..
5. Can i take your picture??
*** coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for christmas!!
6. Exam ka ba??
*** gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!!
7. Lecture mo ba ako??
*** lab kasi kita..
8. Centrum ka ba??
*** kasi you make my life complete!!
9. Miss pwede ba kita maging driver??
*** para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko..
10. Mahilig ka ba sa asukal??
*** ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo..
11. Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard??
*** kasi type kita..
12. I hate to say this but… You are like my underwear..
*** coz i can’t last a day without you!!
13. Ibibili kita ng salbabida..
*** kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko..
14. Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar??
*** single kasi ako eh..
15.Me lisensya ka ba??
*** coz you’re driving me crazy eh..
16. May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo??
*** may sira ata relo ko.. pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humihinto ang oras ko..
17. Grabe nakakatawa yung mga pick-up lines noh?? hahaha! May alam ka pa bang iba?? Wala na akong maisip eh..
*** coz all i ever think of is you..
18. I’m a bee..
*** can you be my honey??
19. Nakakatakot diba ang multo??
*** pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko..
20. Am i a bad shooter??
*** coz i keep on missing you..
21. May lahi ka bang aswang??
*** ang pangit mo kasi eh..
22. Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight??
*** O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako??
23. Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh??
*** kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo mo na agad..
24. Excuse me.. Are you a dictionary??
*** because you give meaning to my life..
25. Bangin ka ba??
*** nahuhulog kasi ako sa’yo..
26. Pustiso ka ba??
*** kasi, can’t smile without you..
27. Pagod na pagod ka na noh??
*** maghapon at magdamag kana kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko eh..
28. Me butas ba puso mo??
*** kasi natrap na ako sa loob, can’t find my way out!!
29. Anung height mo??
*** ha?? pano ka nagkasya sa loob ng puso ko..
30. Hey, did you fart??
*** coz you blew me away!!
31. Sana “T” na lang ako..
*** para i’m always right next to “U”
32. Are you Jamaican??
*** kasi Ja-maican me crazy!!
33. Nde tayo tao..Nde tayo hayop…BAGAY tayo…BAGAY tlga tayo…
34. Ako ay isang exam…kaya sagutin mo na ako…

Top 100 Pick up Lines

1. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
2. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
3. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes"> Take me home with you.
4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
5. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no ) Would you like some? (if yes ) Want some more?
6. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
7. Do you have the time? [Gives the time"> No, the time to write down my number?
8. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!"> Do you want to do lunch?
9. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
10. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
11. I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince
12. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
14. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
15. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
16. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
17. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
18. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
19. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"
20. Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
22. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
23. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
24. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
25. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
26. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
27. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
28. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
29. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
30. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
31. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
32. Say, did we go to different schools together?
33. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
34. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
35. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
36. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar"> He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
37. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
38. Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)
or
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)
39. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.


Re:100 Cheesy Pick Up Lines penguin: 40. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
41. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need
42. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
43. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
44. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
45. Say, did we go to different schools together?
46. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
47. Wow! Are those real?
48. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
49. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon
50. I'll bet you  50 I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
51. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
52. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"
53. Your Daddy must be a farmer because you grew some nice melons?
54. That dress looks real becoming on you. Of course if I was that dress I'd be coming too.
55. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
56. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
57. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?
58. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
59. (Lick finger than touch girl's clothing) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
60. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
61. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
62. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
63. If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
64. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
65. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
66. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
67. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
68. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
69. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
70. You know what would look good on you? Me
71. So do ya wanna see something really swell?
72. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
73. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
74. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
75. I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
76. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist
77. Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
78. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
79. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?

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 Re:100 Cheesy Pick Up Lines penguin: 80. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap"> HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
81. Are you as good as your mother?
82. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?
83. I have a two minute recovery time.
84. Didn't I do your sister?
85. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see my-self in your pants.
86. F**k me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
87. Yo. You'll do.
88. Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!
89. Is there a Rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for.
90. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
91. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand
92. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?
93. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":"> Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
94. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
95. Do you want to see something swell?
96. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
97. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
98. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
99. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together
100. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

New Hot Pick Up Lines

"I want to tell you your fortune." Take her hand and write your phone number on it. "There's your future."

"Your skin is so creamy I bet you never even had a zit on your ass."

"Your dad must not have a penis. He's got a paintbrush!"

Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it... then say "You dropped your nametag!"

"Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?"

"You are the most interesting piece of ass i've talked to all evening."

"I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?"

"Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?"

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?"

"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"

"Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after."

"Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had."

"Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't buy you a drink."

"Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?"

"You make Paris Hilton look like a teletubbie."

"If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'de be called the McGorgeous."

"Can I even get a fake number?"

"Hey beautiful...that is your name right?"

"If I had a nickel for every time I saw a girl as beautiful as you I'd have about... 5 cents."

"You're like a prize winning fish... I dont know whether to eat you or mount you."

"If I was peter pan you'd be my happy thought!"

"If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together."

"I've got some Skittles in my mouth... wanna taste the rainbow?"

"I'm just a love pirate lookin' for some booty."

"Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?"

"If you were a booger I'd pick you first."

"I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button."

"Fat penguin" (What!?) "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."

"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!"

"You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong."

"Do you want to go to breakfast?" (Sure) "Should I call you, or nudge you?"

Go up to a girl and say "Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee" - submitted by Allen (fixed by WEEDMAN)

"Come on sweetheart, why don't you just let me put the head in..." - what a classic

"Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted" - submitted by Barry Thickk

"You must wash your clothes with windex... because I can see myself in your pants!" - submitted by "The Richmiester"

"Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?"

"Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get" - submitted by B.J.F

"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you" - submitted by B.J.F

"Wanna go halves on a bastard???" (Non-serious) - submitted by NeoPlasmaX

"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!" - submitted by Jason

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word."

"I'm not actually this tall, I've got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet."

"Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!"

"Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?"

"I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so... you might as well be there."

"What's your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?" - submitted by DZINERLUV

"Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway."

"Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"

"What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply."

"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."

You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."

"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "f**k it". "

"Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."

"Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop. "

"Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. "

"Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart."

"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. "

"Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room."

"I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down."

"What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" (smile and wink)

"I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast."

"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. "

"Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"

"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."

"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"

"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"

"You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad."

you say "You look just like my first wife" she says "How many times have you been married?" you say "never".

"If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. "

"you say "I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink" she says "Why?" you say "Because I dropped mine when I looked at you"

"If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit! "

"If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."

"Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? "

"When God made you, he was showing off."

"If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. "

"My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"

"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. "

"I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you."

"Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn't let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that's how I feel about you."

"It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me! "

"Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? "

"Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. "

"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? "

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?"

"Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that ass! "

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that "pops" up!"

"If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"

"Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?"