“Do you know how to drive?, Yes (make sure the answer would be YES). ‘Coz you drive me crazy”
Pinoy Funny English Pick Up Lines
“Are you on Facebook? ‘Coz I’d definitely click Like.”
“Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?”
“If I were an Azkal, then you are my goal.”
“Sorry, I forgot your name, can I call you mine?”
“Well, here I am! What were your two other wishes?”
“If I were a gardener, I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.”
“Hi, you got raisins? No? Well, how about a date?”
“My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.”
“You must be a thief, ‘coz you stole my heart.”
“Hi, I’m Right… Mr. Right. You were looking for me?”
“Is your name Gillette? Coz you’re the best a man can get!”
“
I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you.”
“Your legs must be tired, coz you’ve been running through my mind all night.”
“You must be Jamaican, coz Jamaican me crazy.”
“You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life.”
“Hi, my name is (your name), and you are… gorgeous!”
“Are you a tamale? Coz you’re hot!”
“Hi, have I seen you before? Oh yes, now I remember, in my dreams!”
“I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?”
“Am I in heaven? Or do you just look like an angel?”
“Your dad must’ve been retarded, ‘coz you are special.”
“Your dad must be a terrorist, ‘coz yoh da bomb!”
“Was your dad an alien? ‘Coz honey, there’s nothing else like you on planet Earth!”
“Do you have a map? ‘Coz I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
“Am I a bad shooter? ‘Coz I keep on missing you.”
“Hi, you must be the devil? ‘Coz you’re hot as hell!”
“Hi, I’m Batman. Do you wanna see my batmobile?”
“Hi, I’m Superman. Can you read my mind?”
“Hi, you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
“Wanna bet 100 bucks you’re gonna turn me down?”
“Kiss me if I’m wrong… but isn’t your name (take a guess)?”
“Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.”
“Hi, I know I’m a guy but I want to be Alice, coz your body’s a Wonderland.”
Filipino Funny Pick Up Lines Tagalog
O, Tagalog naman tayo, dahil mas matindi raw humirit ang mga Pinoy:
“Miss, Google ka ba? Kasi, nasa iyo ang lahat ng hinahanap ko.”
“Miss, album ka ba? Kasi, single ako, eh.”
“Apoy ka ba? Kasi ‘alab’ you.”
“Para kang traffic sa EDSA! ‘Coz I just can’t move on!”
“Tatakbo ka ba sa eleksyon? Kasi, botong-boto sa yo ang parents ko.”
“Ice ka ba? Crush kita eh.”
“Para kang tindera ng sigarilyo. You give me ‘hope’ and ‘more’…”
“Calculator ka ba? Kasi, sa ‘yo pa lang, solved na ko.”
“Keyboard ka ba? Kasi type kita.”
“Pustiso ka ba? ‘Coz I can’t smile without you.”
“Kung posporo ka at posporo ako, eh di, match tayo!”
“Di mo pa nga ako binabato, tinatamaan na ‘ko sa yo.”
“Pulis ba tatay mo? Kasi, nahuli mo ang puso ko.”
“Matalino ka ba talaga? Sige nga, sagutin mo ‘ko!”
“Buti pa ang email, may attachment.”
“Di ka naman camera, pero tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako.”
“Dalawang beses lang naman kita gusto makasama… ‘now’ and ‘forever.’”
“Inii-SMALL ka ba nila? Di bale, inii-BIG naman kita!”
“Hindi lahat ng buhay ay buhay. Tingnan mo ‘ko – buhay nga pero patay na patay naman sa ‘yo!”
“Kodigo ka ba? Kasi, ikaw ang sagot sa lahat ng tanong ko, eh.”
“Kakapagod kasing umupo, eh. Pwede bang tayo na lang?”
“Hindi ka ba nalulungkot, babe? Nag-iisa ka lang kase sa puso ko eh.”
“Top view, side view, bottom view, kahit anong view, I love view.”
“Tulisan ba tatay mo? Kasi nabihag mo puso ko.”
“Magaling ka ba sa algebra? Can you substitute my ‘x’?”
“Masasabi mo bang bobo ako, kung ikaw lamang ang laman ng utak ko?”
“Amo ba kita? Bakit inaalila mo ang puso ko?”
“Centrum ka ba? Kasi, you make my life complete!”
“Alam mo ba ang pinakamasarap na feeling sa buong mundo? Ang maka-feeling ka!”
“Miss, mekaniko ka ba? Kasi, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko.”
“Miss, pwede ka bang maging side-car? Single kasi ako.”
Showing posts with label tagalog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tagalog. Show all posts
Corny Pick Up Lines
Corniest Jokes Ive Ever Heard
Best Joke in the world | A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ | ||||||||||
| Second Place | Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” “I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson. “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
But what does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is silent for a moment. “Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!” | ||||||||||
| Top joke in USA | A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” | ||||||||||
| Top joke in Canada | When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C. The Russians used a pencil. | ||||||||||
| Top joke in Australia | This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?” The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....” | ||||||||||
| Top joke in Belgium | Why do ducks have webbed feet?
Why do elephants have flat feet?
| ||||||||||
| Top joke in Germany | A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.” | ||||||||||
| Top joke in UK | A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.” | ||||||||||
| Top Joke in England | Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” | ||||||||||
| Top Joke in Wales | A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.” | ||||||||||
| Top Joke in Northern Ireland | A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”. “Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.” | ||||||||||
| Also Rans | Texan: “Where are you from?” Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.” Texan: “Okay – where are you from, jackass?”  An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” “But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.” Two fish in a tank.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !” Which day of the week do fish hate?.......
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